Permanent Effects of Deployment

The toilet overflowed today.

Bob came downstairs this morning and said, “I think our toilet is broken.  There’s lots of paper in it and it won’t go down.”

So, there went my plans for the morning.  I’d gotten up early in order to get my run in and be able to shower and run some errands before a lunch meeting.  Ah well, best laid plans…

So, after Bob and Dwight left for school I headed upstairs to investigate.  I figured a little plunging would solve the problem.  I have four sons, this is not our first clogged toilet.  I could still run and shower, run one errand and get to my meeting.

No such luck.  The boys must have made several attempts and flushing because the water was nearly to the rim.  I plunged to the fullest extent, flushed, held my breath… and watched the water approach and surpass the rim of the bowl.  That has never happened to me before.

Luckily, we have a home warranty.  After I threw some towels on the floor of the bathroom, I called and set up a visit from a plumber.  As they say in the military, I know when I’m working above my pay grade.

As I’ve said before, I’ve become quite independent since Horatio left for his deployment.  That independence does not go away just because he came home.  So, when he responded to my, “THE TOILET OVERFLOWED” text with, “did you try to plunge it?” I was none too pleased.

I know he was trying to be helpful, but the post deployment spouse in me was irritated that he thought he had to make such a suggestion.  After all, I know how to deal with these situations, I did it on my own for nearly 2 years while he was gone.

This is another example of how the reintegration can be challenging, even four months post reunion.  As time goes on, I see that the affects and changes caused by the deployment will be long lasting and might never go away.  What I have to do is work hard to improve my reaction when Horatio tries to be helpful at times I feel like I don’t need, or want, help.  He just wants to be supportive and helpful.

I’m trying…  I’ll try harder…

I did get my run in and my shower.  No errands, though.  It’s small stuff, though.  It took me about an hour to remember to not sweat the small stuff.  Sweating through my run helped a lot.  In the end, it’s all about keeping things in perspective.


About Commander in Chief At home

Erin is a military spouse and, sometimes temporarily single mom to 4 boys. She's a parenting coach, writer, teacher, special needs (Autism) mom, and much more.
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