To Rendezvous? Or not to Rendezvous?

After a week, or so, of no contact from Horatio, I received an email from him asking if I could meet him for a visit.

I know his unit is leaving in the near future, for parts unknown, so the thought of being able to see him is very appealing, of course. In my head, I’d already accepted the fact that the next time he would visit us is September.

I read further into the email, seeing that the proposal was a 4 day meet up in Tokyo. He’d be in the city for a few days off and wondered if I could meet him there.

As the thought sunk in, several points hit me like arrows striking my stomach, back, knees…

The dates of said visit would have me away from home during the boys’ last week of school. Sure, things are winding down, but let’s be real, while no actual work is done, the last week of school is full of obligations for the moms. Parties, violin concerts, plays, etc… Could I ask my parents or in-laws to take on these responsibilities? The though of planning the trip overwhelmed me. My head was spinning, so I did what any sane, busy mom would do… I ignored the whole thing for a few days.

Horatio sent a second email stating that he would completely understand if I could not make it work.


Then I talked with another Navy wife who reminded me of the importance of these meet-ups. Months-long absences can be tough on a marriage, but short visits can help. So, I began to act.

My first call was to Horatio’s parents, who said they would make it work. They would come down and watch the boys. They really wanted to help.

While on the phone with my mother-in-law, I searched for flights online. My first hope was to find that I could use miles to get a free ticket. No such luck. All of our miles are on United Airlines and the tickets all cost 130,000 miles at this late date. We don’t have that many miles on any of our accounts. Then I looked at the costs and found the best price was $1400. At that price, I was not sure what to do. $350 per day… It’s a lot of money.

So, I sent my beloved an email and left the decision up to him. Soon I received his reply.

If you need me next week, I’ll be here. No need to dig out the passport. Horatio made a good point. While he’d been granted a few days of R&R, anything can happen, and it usually does. He’d hate to have me travel all that way, spend all that money, and end up sitting around while he worked.

The boys are happy that I’m not going. When I mentioned the possibility of the trip, Dwight was stunned. He said, “You’d go visit Dad without US?” My answer? “Yes, I would.” I love my kids, and it would be more than difficult to leave them for a few days, but I also love my husband, who is making a huge sacrifice being away from all of us. If I could easily make it work, I would.


About Commander in Chief At home

Erin is a military spouse and, sometimes temporarily single mom to 4 boys. She's a parenting coach, writer, teacher, special needs (Autism) mom, and much more.
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